Donkey Punched

 

The NHL season has finally started. Are you ready to get down and dirty? It’s an exciting time for fantasy hockey fans. As you have fun looking at box scores and following your players try to incorporate these…traditionally 'dirty' terms with a fantasy hockey twist.
 

 

1. Hot Lunch: a person who dedicates their lunch hour to read box scores and player news to stay on top of fantasy hockey.

2. The Stranger: – a person who hides behind online anonymity to get away with talking smack

3. Western Grip: When you stay up late to watch a West coast game just to watch one of your star fantasy players.

4. The Blumpkin: a player that starts scoring immediately after you drop him.

5. Donkey Punch: when your top fantasy player gets injured just as your team starts to play well

6. Golden Shower: a person who knows the least amount about hockey, but is pissing everyone else off by being in first place.

7. Pearl Necklace: a person who blows his chances of winning by using too many moves way too early in the season.

8. Coyote: the lie, excuse, or action you take to get out of what you are doing to go watch hockey.

9. Purple Mushroom: a person who says he exercises regularly by participating in fantasy sports

10. The Flying Camel: a defenseman normally known for fighting who scores a goal.

11. Fishhook: a person who is a victim of making a bad trade.

12. The Ram: the one commercial that you are tired of seeing over and over while watching a hockey game on TV.

13. Bismarck: a fantasy player who gets in a fight and scores a goal (Blood & Iron)

14. Jelly Doughnut: a fantasy player who has not recorded a point all week, but yet you are too afraid to drop.

15. The Woody Woodpecker: – a person in your league that pokes around tries to find what players you might be interested in.

16. Dog in a Bathtub: the squirmy feeling you get when you hear one of your players scored a hat trick.

17. Tossing Salad: a person who adds and drops a player before he even plays one game for his team.

18. Rim Job: a person who makes multiple moves even before the season starts

19. The Bucking Bronco: a player who is great one month and then terrible the next.

20. Pink glove: someone who ignores points and tries to win leagues with goalies stats, players high in PIM, and a good +/-.

21. The Fountain of You: a person who talks about nothing but how good their team is.

22. New York Style Taco: a person who already has the name “Champ” in his team name.

23. The Dirty Sanchez: a person who never offers a fair trade but yet complains why no one ever trades with him.

24. The Fish Eye: – a person who sees and fully understands everything going on in their league and reacts right away.

25. Tuna Melt: a person whose fantasy teams falls behind in the standing and then loses interest and fades away.

26. Fur Ball: when your goalie coughs up a goal and blows the shutout late in a game thus costing you major shutout points.

27. The Chili Dog: a player that sounds like a good pickup initially, but will later cause you to regret it.

29. Rear Admiral: a person who comes from behind to win your league after trailing all season

30. Dutch Oven: a person who goes to website written in a foreign language (Russian, Finnish, Swedish, or Czech) to get fantasy hockey news.