15 Signs That Your Team is not Going to Win This Year

Rick Roos

2013-03-05

letterman

 

Fifteen signs that your team is not going to win your league this year

Don't look now, but the 2012-13 season is nearly half over. At this point some fantasy hockey teams are doing great and others terrible, but most probably are somewhere in the middle. But as painful as this might be to hear, many of those teams in the middle have little to no realistic chance to actually win their league.  What makes that situation even worse is when those GMs finally wake up and realize their inevitable fate, it'll be too late to try to take steps (like trades) to help put their teams in a better position for next season or down the road.

 

With this in mind – and to help cheer up some of these doomed teams – here’s a Letterman style list of the top 15 signs that your team is actually out of contention even if you might not realize it right now.

1) You've seriously considered adding one of your injured players to your active line-up because you figure "hey, at least he won't be minus…."

2) When every player that's been dropped by other teams over the past few weeks could legitimately be in your starting line-up

3) In response to another GM ragging on your team you say "well at least I'm not Doug – have you looked at his team!"  Then the other GM reminds you that Doug's team passed you in the standings over a week ago

4) More and more you're watching spring training baseball instead of NHL Gamecenter

5) You keep finding yourself thinking "whew, at least that last one was an empty netter" when you notice that one of your goalies lost yet again by a score of 6-4, 7-5 or 5-3.

6) When you drop players from your roster, other teams honestly respond by saying "wow, I forgot he was still in the league"

7) You feel a strong motivation to track down inexpensive hockey cards of some of your players simply so you can rip them into tiny pieces, throw darts at them, or fashion them into makeshift voodoo dolls

8) When you watch NHL Tonight, you secretly wish Kevin Weekes or Jamie McLennan would come out of retirement so you could upgrade your goaltending

9) When someone points out how bad your squad is, you angrily respond by reminding them that you've got more PIMs than any other team, the only problem being that your league switched out PIMs for Hits two seasons ago

10) You spend more than an hour a day trolling the twitter accounts of your underperforming players

11) The other GMs are kind enough to pitch in to get you a midseason gift, except when you open it you see a Staples "Easy" button with the word "Panic" pasted over it

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