Another installment of bad puns and injuries you wish you didn’t have to deal with! If you’re looking for injury updates as soon as they happen follow me on twitter @BrennanDeSouza. 

The Big Guns (>75% owned in Yahoo Leagues) 

Jaden Schwartz – Hockey is a physically demanding game, some of these athletes experience injuries that most of us could never even fathom. Broken bones, fractured ribs, torn muscles, you name it. However, some of us might be able to empathize with Jaden Schwartz as food poisoning is the ailment currently keeping him off the ice. He should be good to go tonight against the Blackhawks.  

Patrice Bergeron – It’s possible that the Bruins’ assitant captain will make his season debut Thursday night against the Canucks. Bergeron has been practicing between Brad Marchand and Anders Bjork and was taking some light contact from his teammates. Boston is 2-3-0 to start the season, and I would expect the return of their top center to put them back on track for a winning record. Don’t underestimate the ability of Bergeon’s defensive capabilities, his presence in the lineup should also be beneficial for Tuukka Rask (3.30 GAA, .882 SV%).  

Ryan Getzlaf – It’s been a weird start to the season for the Ducks’ forward as he missed the first two games, played in the next two, and has missed the two most recent games. It would seem that management is going to be more careful with Getzlaf’s return this time around, to avoid any more missed time in the future when games become more meaningful. Treat this as a day-to-day situation until we get a more substantial update.  

Leon Draisaitl – Please try and keep your eyes Drai, don’t saitl I finish. Unfortunately, the Oilers’ superstar will be out for the foreseeable future because of concussion-like symptoms. The team is treating it like a concussion so we don’t have a timeline at this point. Hopefully, my bad puns have distracted you from this devastating news.  

Mikael Granlund – The Wild forward has been making good progress and might even participate in Thursday’s practice. Minnesota has been plagued with injuries, so if Granlund has a good practice the team might need him to return this weekend.  

The Second Liners (40%-75% owned in Yahoo Leagues) 

Nino Niederreiter – High ankle sprain, out for three weeks. I guess you could say he doesn’t Niederreiter, he needs a doctor. As of right now Minnesota’s first line consists of Joel Eriksson Ek, Eric Staal, and Chris Stewart. Expect an increased role for these wingers with Nino out of the lineup.  

Marc-Andre Fleury – After a great start to the season, in which he allowed only four goals in his first three games, it’s tough to see Fleury on the Injured Reserve with a concussion. Hopefully you were able to sell high, because the Golden Knights are an expansion team and probably won’t have as much success against the top rosters in the league as they did against the Coyotes. Fleury seemed to suffer the injury on this play against Detroit, but did stay in the game.  

Alexander Steen – Whether or not Steen makes his season debut Wednesday night against Chicago depends on how he performs in Wednesday’s practice (which might have already happened, so go check my twitter!). 

Matt Niskanen – The Washington Capitals’ defenseman won’t be back before November 7th because of an upper-body injury. He was placed on LTIR, meaning even if he is feeling ready to play before the early November deadline, he won’t be eligible to play. Look for John Carlson to take on an even bigger role in Niskanen’s absence.  

The Depth Guys (10%-40% owned in Yahoo Leagues) 

Ryan Miller – Very close. As close as this was to being a goal:  

David Backes –  The Bruins’ forward could be Back(es) in the lineup Thursday night when Boston takes on Vancouver, but keep in mind he’s been recovering from the painful diverticulitis, resulting in the loss of 10 pounds. With this in mind, it might be best to keep him on your bench until it seems he has returned to form.  

Antti Raanta – The Coyotes goalie hasn’t been skating and is currently day-to-day with a lower-body injury. Arizona hasn’t looked good to start the season, and while their roster has improved since last season, it might be time to temper our expectations for the team as well as Antti Raanta.  

Boone Jenner – I still don’t have a concrete timeline for you, but he was a participant in Tuesday’s practice!  

Patrick Eaves – This seems to be a case of re-aggravation as Eaves was only able to play two games before worsening a lower-body injury. As in the case of Ryan Getzlaf, expect the team to be more patient with Eaves to prevent anything more serious stemming from this.  

Sami Vatanen – It’s possible he plays against the Canadiens on Friday night, but a return next week is more likely.  

Nick Schmaltz – This one is important. You see this guy sitting on the free agents list in your Yahoo league? Well, 76% of you will, and most of you would benefit from grabbing him before your fellow GMs see he’s likely to play on Wednesday night. Schmaltz is a former first round pick (20th overall) and playing beside Patrick Kane is sure to result in a productive season.  

Charlie Coyle – The Wild forward had surgery because of a fibula fracture and is expected to miss the next six to eight weeks.  

Jonathan Marchessault – A lower-body injury is expected to keep the Golden Knights’ forward out for at least a week.  

Loui Eriksson – Knee sprain. Four to six weeks. Nothing further because Eriksson shouldn’t be on your roster.  

The Mr. Irrelevants (<10% owned in Yahoo Leagues) 

Hampus Lindholm – Still on track for a return before the end of the month. 

Mathieu Perreault – The Jets’ forward will be out for the next four weeks with a lower-body injury. This is great news for Kyle Connor who is expected to see second line minutes alongside Bryan Little and Patrik Laine.