Frozen Tools Forensics

Forensics - Jaroslav Halak and Brian Elliott - Many teams have employed a two goalie system in the past, but the tandem of Jaroslav Halak and Brian Elliott are taking it to a new level this season.  With most tandems there is always a clear number one, meaning that one guy is always going to get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to starting big games, as long as he doesn't turn into Andre "Red Light" Racicot.

Forensics - Drew Stafford - After getting through high-school math I never thought I would have to deal with charts, graphs, and percentages again. Then along came Frozen Pool and that all changed. At least this time it's for something I'm actually interested in and can analyze with a goal in mind.

Hello, I am Frozen Pool. F-R-O-Z-E-N P-O-O-L.  And I am addicted to Holidays.

What a few weeks it’s been! I’m full of Christmas rye and coke, Frosty Heinekens, Candy Cane Cabernets, Yuletide rum eggnogs and Festivus vodka sodas. I love Christmas so much that even a documentary crew about holidays has asked to follow me; amazed that I can celebrate so well, I guess...

A look at Matt Niskanen

This week we will open Frozen Pool class with a quick tutorial in definitions.

opportunist

op·por·tun·ist/ˌäpərˈt(y)o͞onist/

Noun:  A person who exploits circumstances to gain immediate advantage rather than being guided by principles or plans.

Let’s take a look at Frozen Pool Forensics noteworthy players of the week. From people in the know, one name has been bandied about among the top young blueliners in the game today. He’s six feet tall, 210 lbs and measures 42-34-42. He likes long walks on the beach, bubble baths, the colour green and stargazing. Of course, I’ve given you too much information… I could almost hear your screaming Ryan McDonagh at your monitor/iphone/ipad/IIe/Lisa.

Happy Black Tuesday everybody! I trust you’re enjoying hockey on your brand new $49 Black Friday 75” LED TV.  Up here in Canada, all we have are faux noir Monday 5% off sales. It’s a bit of a joke. Look at us! We have sales too! It’s almost worth driving down and wading through a sea of jogging pants at Walmart to save some bucks (import duty $$ aside). If anyone knows where I can buy a car with a hidden 75” compartment let me know…

This week we’ll be doing some bargain bin shopping of our own.  The best part: no sweaty jogging pants, no rat-tails and no inappropriately tight 1987 Def Leppard t-shirts! Let’s begin shall we?

Introducing yet another tool in the Frozen Pool line-up. It’s called Team Scout and it does exactly what you’re thinking… and more!

Over the past two weeks, you’ve had a couple of in depth walk-throughs of my Frozen Pool tools.  You’ve had some time to test them out for yourself and you’re ready for the big time.

Last week, you were all witnesses to me losing my cherry. As awkward as it was to have you all there during my deflowering, I enjoyed the experience immensely. My initial article covered the basics of using a handful of Frozen Pool tools to dig up early season talent. Once November arrives, those gems are no longer flying under the radar. Your competitors have long uncovered them and have the edge on your team. It’s time to pan the waiver wire and concentrate on short-term flyers!