Fantasy Season Prep Work …. Burnsy Style

Chris Burns




Once again we have reached that wonderful time of the year where all of our normal responsibilities take a back seat to prepping for the upcoming fantasy season. The Dobber site is in full swing with daily additions to the information conglomeration on the site, and the disappointments of last year are all but erased from our minds.


Additionally, September is the only time that we are all tied for first place in our pools, and while last year’s winners are fairly confident in their strategies, last year’s losers are revamping their approach. I considered writing an article that would add to the piles of information already on the site, but then reconsidered, and decided to write a little preseason guide that will help everyone equally, regardless of last year’s results. I now give you my own special twist on the “preseason guide”, with Burnsy’s Top 10 Preseason Tips. Enjoy.


10) Get your boss involved in your fantasy pool. Regardless of how much you hate him, or how much of a dink he may be, getting your boss into your pool will pay huge dividends in regards to slacking at work in order to tend to draft prep. This also allows you to have a few Fantasy magazines in the crapper at work and is an easy way to get your boss off topic during those boring meetings.


9) Under no circumstances let a female into your pool. Never. Never ever. They are not like us and will wind up screwing everything up. Plus, when they end up winning the damn thing and then tell you they picked guys based on their uniform colors or how cute they are, it will only make your level of disgust skyrocket. Case in point… My wife joined my NFL pool last year in which we pick the winners each week. She beat me by 13 points and then told me she picked all her games based on what she liked better in regards to the team names. If the Dolphins were playing the Bears, she would take the Dolphins. However if the Bears were playing the Buccaneers, she would always choose the cute little bears over the big mean pirates. Bottom line is no chicks in pools ever, unless it involves water and bikinis.


8) Buy a box of 10 pens. Put 2 in each bathroom in your house. Put two beside your bed. Put two in your car. Put two by the TV. In order, these are the places where you will get your brightest ideas or thoughts for the upcoming season and having a pen handy to jot it down is imperative. There is nothing worse than realizing you had forgotten an important discovery only after somebody else drafts the guy in question at your draft.

7) Get your wife and kids out of the house during your draft. No matter how much they promise to be quiet and leave you alone, it will not happen. Send them to a movie or to the mall …. Pay whatever it costs to get them the hell out of there. I believe there is a direct inverse relation between the distractions during the draft and your eventual final placing come April. Some things we can’t control … fortunately getting rid of our dependents for a few hours isn’t one of them.


6) During your draft, there will be a couple of occasions when you draft a player and somebody in your pool hollers out obscenities because they were planning on that same guy with their next pick. When this happens, by all means talk a little trash, and then make a note of who freaked out. This info can be very valuable when trying to improve your team through trading. We all have guys we are convinced about prior to the season and it is a good time to trade these players when their value is over-inflated due to somebody having a personal interest in them.