Third Degree Burns

Chris Burns



First off I would like to send a shout out to all the Dobber-Maniacs out there who are still around and may remember my humble postings from the early days of  It seems what was once just a dirty thought in Dobber’s mind has developed into something very successful, despite the fact that meatheads like me are involved.  When Dobber asked me to do a guest column, my first reaction was to blow your mind with some Jedi-like insight into the upcoming season, however after putting back eight or nine Bud Light Lime on my deck, I have decided to give you some old-school rumblings … Third Degree Burns style …. so here goes …




10 Reasons That Summer Sucks (For Fantasy Hockey Freaks)


10) Does anybody else walk by the magazine stand and catch a glimpse of a new Fantasy magazine … only to get that immediate sinking feeling when you realize that it says “NFL” and not “NHL” on the cover. This happens to me at least twice a week and it blows. Fantasy Football is for people who can’t take the rigors of an 82 game fantasy season.


9) Isn’t it fun to watch/listen to the Leafs fans blubber on about their free agent signings every year … listen up you silly suckers …  Colton Orr and Garnet Exelby are not the second coming of Christ, and no, you don’t have one of “the deepest and most talented group of blue-liners in the league”


8) We all have a couple guys who we think will explode in the upcoming season, and if you’re like me, you have been over bidding on these few guys for the last couple years. As you prepare your early draft rankings, you now find them popping into your mind again and begin to move them a little too far up your ranking sheet. They have let you down the last three years. They will again this year. Move on.


7) Blue Jays Baseball


6) From July 1st until mid September, those of us involved in Fantasy Hockey will lie awake at night wondering how the recent free agent signings will play out in terms of line combinations for the upcoming season. I personally know that if I don’t draft Martin Havlat, he will play with Koivu and Brunette on the top line. However, if I do draft him, he will miss 35 games and play with Boogaard and Clutterbuck.


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