NHL Free-Agency Drinking Game

Dobber Sports

2010-06-30

beer

 

While I was able to pop into the draft chat for a bit last Friday, I'll be busy playing some old-time road hockey and quaffing cold bottles of beer during the Free-Agent chat…thus, I will have to leave the July 1 chat to more serious (and likely better informed) hockey fans.

 

But I didn't want to completely ignore my duties, so I humbly present the 2010 NHL Free-Agency Day Drinking Game.  It might be a relatively sparse year for free-agents, but that doesn't mean the day can't be fun!

 

Official Rules of the 2010 NHL Free-Agency Drinking Game

 

  1. Do not start drinking before noon.  But if you do, you must do so in secret and only produce the empty bottles after 12:00pm.  Shrug and deny any wrong-doing should any league executive, (or your spouse), challenge your actions.

 

  1. The first person to mention a trade involving Tomas Kaberle forces everyone else to drink from their beverage.

 

  1. Everyone who mentions Kaberle after this initial instance must immediately chug the remainder of their drink.  The offender must chug a second if they used any of the following phrases 'smooth-skating', 'puck-moving defenceman', or 'for that kinda money?'  While this rule may seem unduly harsh, it is designed to protect the group against a deluge of annoying Kaberle-talk.

 

  1. All players must drink if Colby Armstrong signs with the Leafs.

 

  1. If the Los Angeles Kings sign Ilya Kovalchuk, everyone must immediately chug the remainder of their drink (trust me, it will make Lombardi's logic seem clearer).

 

  1. If the Toronto Maple Leafs sign Ilya Kovalchuk, well…jeez…I don't know what to tell you.

 

  1. All players must drink if RFA Bobby Ryan doesn't sign with the Anaheim Ducks.

 

  1. All players must drink on the occasion of any appearance by Donald Fehr.  Chug your beer if he mentions Gary Bettman or the CBA.  If you're not sure who Fehr is, immediately go here and read Ken Campbell's piece on the NHLPA.

 

  1. Any time Pierre Maguire starts off saying something that seems reasonable, but rambles on until the idea is reduced to insanity, all players must drink. (editor's note: unsafe).